Counting my blessings

I’ve been feeling really blah lately.  It’s hard to explain because I’m usually such a positive person, so it’s not something I find easy to put into words.  Perhaps the ‘shelter in place’ is getting to me, and I’m feeling a bit caged, maybe.  Well if one thing is for certain we’re all probably feeling like that, and you might not want me to write about it.  I for one start to get a gripey tummy when I read the news in the morning.  Trying to keep up with Bermuda, the UK, New Zealand and the rest of the world is daunting.  There’s just so much negative stuff to wade through, and I know sore tummy’s are a sign of stress. It is very real, there’s no doubt about that, but all I can do is stay at home as much as possible, and keep myself safe so I don’t catch and spread this dreadful virus to others.  My lovely husband and I have had ‘words’ over the last couple of days, cross words.  Somewhere in amongst all of this I forgot to be kind and count my blessings. This coincided with the last repatriation flight out of Bermuda, which I wasn’t on, but I can’t do anything about that now.  Time to change my mind set for the better.

So……I love walking.  I have got off my chuff all week and had a walk every day.  Yesterday I let myself rest, but still went for a walk with my lovely husband when he got back from his essential work out in the community.  Walking really helps to realign my thoughts and alleviate stress.  The fresh air and beautiful nature helps to lift my spirits, and the sun has been kind to me, so far.

I practiced my Tai Chi.  Being very honest, there’s not much I remember about my form now, but I try to do my eight strand every day.  Those are stretching and stamina exercises that keep one hundred and eight muscles healthy in your body.  Tai Chi also helps maintain bone density, which is very important for those of us who can’t enjoy dairy products.  What I would give for a great big piece of cheese.  Good grief I think I just made a Homer Simpson drawl noise!  Tai Chi is also a form of meditation, standing up.  Being hyperactive naturally, sitting still to meditate is something I find really difficult.  But Tai Chi literally saved my life, when I had to manage so much stress, it centered me, grounded me, and helped me to stop sweating the small stuff.

We don’t have a laundry, so instead of letting the enormity of that fact overwhelm me when the laundry’s closed here; I thanked my blessings that we have a bath.  When we finally couldn’t cope with using the same towels and sheets for one minute longer, and the sun came out, I ran the bath.  Just enough mind, we’re on tank water.  And I stomped.  It was actually fun, and I sure got my steps in!  My lovely husband asked, ‘Practicing for when we make our own wine one day?’ Cheeky bugger, since his feet are twice the size of mine, I think I know who will get that task!

The grass has grown.  Usually the lawn maintenance people pop around every few weeks to sort it, but with lockdown, they can’t.  It’s amazing to see all the tiny flowers growing I never knew were there.  I can walk around it in bare feet too, as it’s not sun-dried crispy.  And the best thing is, the red cardinal birds think they can hide, so they are coming in closer to check it out for seeds and bugs.  They are very beautiful, but incredibly thick.  I can hit one in the head with a peanut, and watch it bounce off, and they still can’t find it.  A little myopic maybe?

I have a poor excuse for a tomato plant in an old bucket, that got through the gale force winds, and has a few fruit hanging on.  I’m guessing it’s a sweet one hundred plant because the tomatoes are tiny, but they are sure tasty.  The tomatoes we get here are from America, irradiated, put into cold store, and rot quickly when they are taken out of the fridge.  They cost a fortune and have no taste.  When my first one ripened, I was checking it every day to decide when to pick it, and suddenly it was gone!  That’s about the time my first melt down happened.  Some people had been to top up the gas, and I was sure they must have taken it.  After a lot of stomping and tears and wailing about dishonesty, and if they were that hungry they could have just asked me – I found the tomato in the long grass.  I felt like such a heel, but was very pleased I kept most of my disappointment to myself.  My lovely husband might disagree with that last statement though.  Does lockdown screw up our judgement and patience?  Why does a tiny thing like a tomato become the end of the world as I know it, when before that I wouldn’t have cared less?

The flowers are out.  It has been a long time coming, but flowers are now in full bloom.  Hurricanes sure take their toll on vegetation.  If the trees are stripped bare, the soil is acidic with salt and growth seems to take a long time to recover.  The oleander, and hibiscus are especially vibrant in their pink, red, white and yellow glorious colours. Bermudiana, tiny and purple is popping up everywhere.  The fennel is starting to flower too. It’s wonderful to walk past with its aniseed smell.  I can’t help but run my hands through it when I pass it on the road.  The fronds are so soft and green, it’s lovely.  I picked some today and steeped it in my teapot.  Delicious.  My lovely husband said, ‘It comes out the same colour you know!’.  Good grief.

Our apartment is tiny by New Zealand standards, and quite a reasonable size by Bermuda standards.  We have one kitchen living area, a bathroom and a large bedroom.  Since ‘shelter in place’ my lovely husband has been either out on the road, or working from home.  A while back I set up an office area in the corner of our bedroom, so we would both have places to work, and we have outside too if the weather is cooperating.  I popped out the shower the other morning, raced into the bedroom, and discovered there was a business call on Zoom in place.  Crap.  Now I know even if I continue to quietly get dressed, no one can see me, but it’s the principal of the matter, and we had to have words about that one.  From now on, I announce that I’m going for my shower, which gives a ten minute warning that I need the bedroom.  You know, for bedroom stuff.  This is working out better now.  I also don’t feel like I’m eavesdropping either, so that is really helpful. 

Now do you remember brown chicken?  I have been patiently taming her, by feeding her peanuts.  She can only have them by hand, and now takes a few from me.  Sometimes she also lets me pat her chest, but only briefly, and is very vocal about it.  My neighbour said recently ‘She’ll give you eggs soon!’.  Well she disappeared for a bit, and we were quite worried about her.  I know we shouldn’t worry about a wild chicken, but it’s natural, when she’s been turning up every day for her peanuts.  We found out she sure did give eggs, because when she finally surfaced again, fifteen tiny day old fluffy chicks followed her.  They are so cute.  However we now have to keep the fly screen closed, because they all think they can waltz into the lounge and follow me about at my heels.  My lovely husband said ‘That brown chicken just loves you’.  No she doesn’t, she likes the bird seed he keeps feeding her.  The car pulled up yesterday and it was so funny, brown chicken and fifteen chirping followers ran to greet him.  He could hardly walk for fear of stepping on them.  They have survived gale force winds, cold weather (don’t laugh, it’s been cold for Bermudian chickens!), and the cats next door so far.  Some of them have started to try a wee fly, with their tiny little wings, and perch on doorstep looking in.  I even saw them chase off the sparrows like their mum does.  My neighbour mentioned that they might help build a coop, that would be cool, as long as they get to free range during the day.  How nice to have fresh eggs right on the doorstep.

Now the most probable dad chicken Kiev decided to crow this morning right on the dot at seven.  He also crowed at seven ten, seven seventeen, seven thirty five, and kept going until he got a handful of seed at eight.  The bugger proceeded to crow for at least another half an hour, right outside the window.  I said ‘Time for the pot’, but I know I’m only joking because I don’t think I could do it.  But it got me thinking.  How many of the chicks are boys?!

More soon – Sally

P.S. If you’re feeling a bit blah, why not have a one to one chat on Zoom absolutely free. You can contact me for a mutual suitable time here:



  1. A good read Sally, and you express how many of us feel over this lockdown.
    I think our perceptions are screwed by long periods of feeling shut away and isolated.
    The Royal New Zealand Ballet put on two free performances we could watch on computer, such a lovely idea. As a family, and in our different locations, we prepared to watch the first. One mother and daughters even dressed as if they were actually going out to the theatre.
    When it came time to watch, my mobile data would not open the link to the performance.
    I burst into tears. And when I later saw photos of the four of them in their glam clothes, I cried again.
    Level 3 is only minorly less restrictive than level 4 was. To balance that, I’m so pleased that Jacinda has been prepared to take the steps she has.

    Liked by 2 people

    • We have constantly had issues with the internet here and likewise sit down to the update from the Premier to find it glitches and shuts down. It’s now like a date to watch it after dinner when the airways have relaxed a little. Roll on our phase one to reopen Bermuda which starts tomorrow at 6am!


    • Absolutely! Just battening down the hatches for gale force wind and possible hurricane- what next! So don’t be surprised if I don’t respond to requests over the next 24 hours 😱


    • It’s windy today and they keep being lifted off the ground. Their faces are priceless as they’re not sure what’s happening and getting to experience flying for the first time! So cute.

      Liked by 1 person

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